10 Dating Tips for Christian Singles

You’re on a date with a great looking guy and there’s an obvious mutual attraction. You’re considering what you should do next, but the time to decide has already passed! There’s nothing more difficult than thinking clearly when you’re lost in the heat of passion. You need to decide on your limits before even going on the date.

  • Don’t Be Joined To Someone You Shouldn’t

Remember the words of Corinthians 6:14;

“Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?”

You’re asking for trouble by dating someone who doesn’t share your personal relationship with the Lord. What are you going to do if you fall in love with them? You shouldn’t expect you can just cut the relationship off when it reaches a physical point.

  • Wear the Armor of God Every Day

Christian’s need all the help they can get in the modern world. Do you spend enough time with God? Are you counting on him to give you the love and security you need? As Eph. 6:10 – 6:20 tells us, we can resist any temptation as long as we wear the armor of God.

  • Passion Shouldn’t be Placed Above Obedience

We all know that not everything we do is right or feels good. If anything, most of the time we do things that are the complete opposite. It can feel good to lose ourselves to passion and temptation. Even so, your physical desires and drives are nowhere near as important as the authority of Christ. No matter how much society tells you to lose yourself to the moment, you should listen to Christ; who tells you to obey His word.

  • Keep Physical Expressions Appropriate

You must correspond physical intimacy with commitment. This isn’t to say that being engaged means you can do anything you want. Physical intimacy shouldn’t be reduced to satisfying your own personal needs, and must stay in the context of the meaningful relationship.

  • Set Mutual Limits

Both you and your partner must share the responsibility of setting limits. Keeping boundaries mutually reflects your maturity.

  • Examine Personal Motives

What is motivating you? Is it the need for power, control, and to gratify your own ego? Are you looking to meet your selfish needs? Or are you genuinely looking for affection?

  • Is the Physical Side of the Relationship too Strong?

If there is a strong physical relationship but the emotional, social, and spiritual aspects of the relationship aren’t in balance, then it’s time that you should rethink your relationship.

  • Less is More

You shouldn’t do something physical if one of you is uncomfortable with it. Both of you should respect on another. You shouldn’t push your date into doing something that makes them uncomfortable, and you shouldn’t accept someone doing the same to you.

  • Be Guided by Love and Not Lust

Love is born from the spirit. Love creates self-control. Operate not through lust, but love.

  • Let Yourself be Directed by the Holy Spirit

If you find yourself feeling judged or convicted by a certain behavior, then stop doing it.

The Seven Essentials for Healthy Relationships

There are several essential factors to securing a beneficial, healthy romantic relationship. Everyone has their own individual needs of course, and these needs can vary between people. However, the following are the most important aspects to maintaining a successful relationship. Every relationship should have the following seven essentials for healthy relationships.

1.  While it may sound obvious, but not everyone understands safety as much as they believe they do.

Safety isn’t just about not being in any physical danger, even though this is one of the most important things. However, emotional and spiritual safety are an important part of every relationship. Every individual in a relationship must feel safe to be able to express themselves, their spirituality, and their emotions healthily without fear of verbal, physical, or psychological abuse. This includes punishment, criticism, and threats.

2.  Compatibility

When it comes to romantic relationships, too many people feel that compatibly is just about physical attraction and chemistry. These are what bring two people together in the first place, they aren’t what keeps a couple together. Compatibility generally stays strong even after physical attraction starts to ebb.

This is why a couple must share fundamental beliefs and have some common intrinsic interests.

3.  Communication

Communication will always be key to any relationship. This is more than just having a superficial conversation about a safe and comfortable topic.

You need to have open, direct, and honest communication to maintain a healthy and successful relationship. It takes assertiveness, respect, honesty, trust, and listening skills; the defining qualities of integrity and the foundation to a healthy relationship. This is also what makes it a form of communication that is likely to cause conflict and uncomfortable. As is the case with life as a whole, conflict is one part of relationships. Conflict is one way that people grow within their relationship and grow closer to one another.

4.  Accountability

Both people in a relationship need to be held accountable to keep the relationship successful and healthy. Both your partner and yourself must be held accountable for their individual actions, be considerate of the other person, and respect the responsibility you hold to one another.

5.  Compromise

There’s no room for selfishness in a relationship. You need to be considerate to your partner while also advocating for yourself; a process that involves delicate compromise.

Whether or not a relationship is good or bad depends on whether or not you can learn to compromise rather than demanding that everything goes your way.

6.  Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy relies on you being emotionally available, vulnerable, open and sharing yourself entirely (who you are and how you feel, what you’re thinking, your experiences, dreams, and more) with someone else. This nurtures the relationship and develop a strong foundation. It’s also an integral part of maintaining a long and healthy romantic relationship on par with physical intimacy.

7.  Collaboration

As is the case with any kind of relationship, a romantic one needs collaboration. A key to relationship success is working together, negotiating differences, and working as a team.

Don’t forget that you and your partner are on the same team even if you don’t agree completely about achieving specific goals. While meeting as a team might get heated sometimes and they are uncomfortable, they are also a necessary conversation needed to find ways to work together and compromise to achieve an objective.

While it’s not always easy to achieve these seven characteristics of healthy and successful relationships, they are an integral part to growing as an individual and growing together as a couple to achieve your goals.

5 Christian Dating Advice Strategies

Five Christian Dating Advice Strategies

There is one common concern felt among Christian singles looking to find lifelong love. They feel that their spiritual beliefs can make it difficult for them to find love. Sometimes they meet other people that want them to do things that go against their beliefs such as drinking, doing drugs, and sex. Then there are those who make assumptions about Christian singles; including that they tend to be judgmental and uptight. The stereotypes can be a little much.

Unfortunately the problem doesn’t go away when Christians date one another. Some Christian dating advice assume Christians are all the same, but every Christian knows that not every Christian is exactly the same. There’s quite a broad range of what being “Christian” means to others. Some of them are ultra-conservative, while some are ultra-liberal. Then there are those in the middle. Not every woman who calls herself a Christian is going to share the same beliefs and have the same lifestyle choices.

We all know that dating is confusing and can be complex. It’s only more difficult for people looking to protect their moral values and spiritual beliefs in a world where anything goes. That’s why we suggest these five Christian dating advice strategies for Christian singles.

Keep Your Inner World Clean

One of the key principles of Christianity is that your heart determines how you act and the decisions you make, both good and bad. Many Christian dating advice focus on how to behave – what you should and shouldn’t do in a relationship as a person of faith and how much is too much when it comes to the bedroom. There is some truth to be found in this advice, but the main thing to take away is that your convictions form your conduct, and your attitudes determine your actions.

As Solomon wrote in the Book of Proverbs; “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (4:23). When your heart is rooted in your spiritual beliefs and is nurtured by them, you are sure to make sound judgements when it comes to matters of romance and love.

Establish Your Standards Beforehand

One should always think through a perilous situation before it has a chance to happen. If you were to go to a large city, you’d always get clear directions in advance to avoid finding yourself in an unsafe area. You do this to avoid being in danger. This idea also applies in dating. If you want to hold true to your values, then you need to establish your standards beforehand. Be firm in your intentions to ensure your partner knows what to expect.

christian dating

Don’t Hesitate to Take a Firm Stance

Many Christian singles are afraid to make their convictions known out of fear of being considered narrow-minded or old-fashioned. It’s always best to be up-front about what you consider to be acceptable. You can avoid a number of awkward situations by being upfront and honest about your standards with your date. If your partner isn’t willing to go along with your beliefs, then you can gracefully bow out before it becomes an issue.

Have a Support System

If you are going into a challenge, it’s always good to know that you have people on your side. Find other people who have the same commitment to their moral integrity as you. Have them watch over you and encourage you to keep your convictions and stay accountable. There truly is strength in numbers as they say, and Christian singles need to stay strong to weather the storms of romance.

Get Advice From a Respected Mature Christian

There’s a good chance that you have someone – such as a pastor or teacher – whose opinions and perspectives you place a lot of value in. Spend time with your respected elder and absorb all the wisdom that you can get from them. Don’t forget what Solomon also said in Proverbs 13:20; “He who walks with the wise grows wise”. All you need to do to get good counsel is ask for it.

Your spiritual beliefs are a major part of what makes you you, and are bound to play a part in your relationship. They must be defined early and defended strongly.